a review of days past.

Well, madness started occurring Friday the 13th of this month. It started off as I was on my way over to Rockland county to meet up with Tracey for some hangouts and a party. When I was driving down a hill in my neighborhood, I looked to my right to notice some screaming children, then suddenly...

*BLAM* *CRASH*

My windshield had been hit by a rock and shattered in the lower right corner. A powder of glass particles exploded over the dash and onto the seat.
I, amazingly enough, didn't panic. I slowed down, put my emergencies on, and backed up. I saw that all the kids had run inside their house, and I pulled into their driveway. The parents (or who I assumed were the parents) came outside and looked worried. They knew their kids had done something stupid, but they weren't around to watch. The father was a skinny dark man with a strong german accent, and in his broken, stuttering, terrified english, told me he would replace the windshield himself. I almost felt bad, seeing a grown man like that. I was somewhat upset, but not too much about the windshield. I knew it could be replaced. My family keeps an impeccable insurance record, we have good credit, and I don't have a mark on my driving record. (knock on glass)

So I call up my parents, they meet me there, and I was surprised to see my dad wasn't flipping the hell out. I was somewhat shaken by the thought that something bad could have happened, and i just had some glass sprayed at me (which i was actually worried about accidentally inhaling, but now see that was a dumb idea) but overall I wasn't concerned for my health that much. I was mostly upset at the thought that I had been planning to go over to rockland since the beginning of the week, and now i couldn't drive anywhere.

Afterwards, we drove back home, and my parents felt bad about what just happened, so they volunteered to drive me to Tracey's house. I gratefully accepted their offer.

So I meet up with Tracey at her house, and it's good to see her. I'd been having such crap luck and I hadn't really been hanging out with anyone, so it was good to see things turn around for once. She drives me out to eat, and then we head over to Marisa's for the little get-together party. I enjoy myself a bunch, and i almost force myself to, because i don't really party too much, i don't hang out as late, and i don't get great chances to hang out with tracey and her friends often. Things died out quickly, seeing as many of the guests party hopped and Tracey was passing out. I was glad that I at least had the hours before all that to enjoy. That night, however, I ended up feeling a bit lonely, confused, and almost disappointed, but for bad reasons, i realized. I saw that I was just living life by escaping situation after situation, resting for a bit and having fun until I realized I didn't know what i wanted or I didn't know what to do.

The next morning, we woke up early, and tracey and friends dropped me off at work. Later that night I went to Liz's belated birthday party. It was a generally small crowd, something i was really surprised about considering how likable Liz is. I ended up talking on the phone with a certain someone for hours in the beginning of the party, so I missed out on the massive drinking party going on upstairs. Eventually one particularly drunk kid with long hair and probably in his late twenties walked up to me and said: "Dude, you've been on the phone for hours. I hope you're alright, because you have such a sad face on, dude. Hang up the phone, and enjoy yourself." To this day, I have no idea who he was. But even with that obstacle, he still was looking out for me. Drunk or not, it restored my faith in people. As for the phone conversation, I wasn't trying to look sad, or get any attention, but i guess i couldn't help it. it was a troubling topic, but inevitable. I was loose and comfortable enough to talk about how i felt coldly, without bias, without drama. I'm happy to believe there was little BS'ing going on.

I hung around til really late at that party, hoping I could spend some time with just Liz, since I can't see her as often and i miss the hell out of her, but I found that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I left at around 4am, walking home, using the oncoming dawn as a flashlight.

Sunday, I was bummed as all hell. I was supposed to meet with some very very important friends, and without a car (windshield still broken on the car I drive and I'm not insured to drive the other), I couldn't go anywhere. I stayed home the whole day, just doing mindless stuff on my computer.

So, I've got a lot of thinking to do.